走著走著突然昏天暗地
烏雲遮住大樓間的縫隙
看來又是一場傾盆大雨
我逃不過只能站著淋雨
總是逃不掉各種難題
一波波地朝我迎面來襲
我早就已經麻痺多少次的殘局
不斷地告訴自己
一切都會雨過天晴
卻讓自己摔進了多少窘境
還要等到什麼時候？
我才能夠仰望晴空？
讓我輕快地踩在烏雲上頭
讓太陽曬乾我的頭
還要等到什麼時候？
這個雨季似乎很久
這場雨到底還要下多久？
我快不能忍受
Wednesday, 30 September 2015
Sunday, 27 September 2015
Saturday, 26 September 2015
聪明人有很多
但我没有遇上他们的运气。
我是在骄傲吗，在下威吗
The one u write too short ady, do longer can ar?
Err... footnote? where are the reference?
Nvm i do la, u giv me the link
No link? How?
结果整项我重新写过
Err... the one u write is about kesan politik, why gt ekonomi one? can remove that ar? add more
You not at home ar?
Nvm i do la, send me the reference and full draft later
结果没send,有80%再写过
Why ur topic so many weird sentence one?
Use statement only why got question marks one?
Do you know how or not?
Y u put dialog in research paper?
Don't know how?
jz take out all the damn question marks and chg it to kata pemerihal, u know rite?
How?
nvm i do la
Why all copy paste one?
u serious bro?
u no time?
u not free?
nvm I'm very free, i do la
1个assignment,10个topic
原本我做三个
副组做两个
其他做一个
结果8个是我做的
七千字
我做完了
我
我
There is no I in Team.
我很得空
我做
我跟挑剔吗
抱歉，我做吧
我又不是senior,好像很会浆
对不起，我做吧
我没有资格批评？
不好意思，我做吧
我没力气在followup 下去，把所有扛上来
一直叫你们重改，我都不好意思了
我又不是lecturer,没说服力
但是我很相信，你这个呈上去
很大便没两样
我是在帮你们，但请你们帮帮自己
脸书打了一整行的怒文，删删删，没发出
内心一出口乱骂
我也语无伦次了
想着自己说的一字一句
是否太过苛刻
自己太过骄傲，自大
但是不说自己会闷出旧患
活着 真不好
大便跟你们
唯一的分别是
大便不会吵
Thursday, 24 September 2015
Tuesday, 22 September 2015
大学生涯可说是充满惊喜啊
惊喜
队友依旧的让人失望
惊喜
我还是依然的高调
惊喜
官字，还是两把口
惊喜连连，舍朴赖斯
I don't know since when I've been this arrogant. Maybe i was before, but I've nvr noticed.觉得英语写比较有feel.
Now I've realised that I've been repeated the same catchphrase since secondary school. "Trust me!" 信我啦！
Trust me, i said.
I repeat this word more frequent now to my new classmates. I said I'm feeling more arrogant now because I am seriously thinking about my groupmates "are you fuckin retarded?"
"report also don't know how to write?"
"Two graphs, took you 1 fucking hour to write a four sentences description, and two person were helping u"
"u nvr did this b4 in ur college or is it you r retarded??"
These sentences keep on ringing in my head and I'm holding myself not saying that. I learned how to "don't give a shit" during my college life. But apparently i can't just say fck it, I'm leaving. I'm their leader, cmon if they fucked up means I'm fucked up too. I feel bad for thinking all this arrogance n ego thoughts but at the same time I feel bad for not being able to do any shit. What can i do? Explain bit by bit like how i teach my standard 6 students, with patience and fake smile.
We are not from same college, same primary or secondary school, same institution, or even same background. I can't expect us to have same mind sets or intelligence, or even same experience. But at least, please Trust me. I become the leader not because i want to have the fame or popularity. I DON'T TRUST YOU GUYS. I am the kind of man that would rather die in my own hand than die because of others. And I'm confident that I'm definitely more steady and efficient than u guys. Indeed, I'm the one whoe doing everything myself, why? Because i can't stand a person messaging me every single hour to ask me for every single steps, and I have to explain very thoroughly again and again. I was frustrated and just take all the tasks and I've done those graphs (which they spend days to do) in two hours.
I keep on repeating to u guys, Trust me, not because of I'm afraid that you don't trust me.
My subconscious is doing the self-reassuring mechanism to me, I DON'T TRUST YOU.
The mock meeting went perfectly smooth and complimented by lecturer, thanks Darwin. Wouldn't even happen without I DOING THE SCRIPTS THE GRAPH THE DATAS. It's ok, I'm glad it went well. For next week presentation i m still look forward to that.
I'm not angry because of doing all these stuffs myself. As i said, I rather die in my own hand. Yet I'm angry because there is ppl who doubt and question me about the things I've done.
I'm an autocratic leader, a lone traveler, and I admit it. Once the project finish, I won't bother to see you anymore. There is no way i would build an attachment with people who lack of wits. Yeah, I'm fucking arrogant, fucking lansi. Up to you.
Trust me you moron.
惊喜
队友依旧的让人失望
惊喜
我还是依然的高调
惊喜
官字，还是两把口
惊喜连连，舍朴赖斯
I don't know since when I've been this arrogant. Maybe i was before, but I've nvr noticed.觉得英语写比较有feel.
Now I've realised that I've been repeated the same catchphrase since secondary school. "Trust me!" 信我啦！
Trust me, i said.
I repeat this word more frequent now to my new classmates. I said I'm feeling more arrogant now because I am seriously thinking about my groupmates "are you fuckin retarded?"
"report also don't know how to write?"
"Two graphs, took you 1 fucking hour to write a four sentences description, and two person were helping u"
"u nvr did this b4 in ur college or is it you r retarded??"
These sentences keep on ringing in my head and I'm holding myself not saying that. I learned how to "don't give a shit" during my college life. But apparently i can't just say fck it, I'm leaving. I'm their leader, cmon if they fucked up means I'm fucked up too. I feel bad for thinking all this arrogance n ego thoughts but at the same time I feel bad for not being able to do any shit. What can i do? Explain bit by bit like how i teach my standard 6 students, with patience and fake smile.
We are not from same college, same primary or secondary school, same institution, or even same background. I can't expect us to have same mind sets or intelligence, or even same experience. But at least, please Trust me. I become the leader not because i want to have the fame or popularity. I DON'T TRUST YOU GUYS. I am the kind of man that would rather die in my own hand than die because of others. And I'm confident that I'm definitely more steady and efficient than u guys. Indeed, I'm the one whoe doing everything myself, why? Because i can't stand a person messaging me every single hour to ask me for every single steps, and I have to explain very thoroughly again and again. I was frustrated and just take all the tasks and I've done those graphs (which they spend days to do) in two hours.
I keep on repeating to u guys, Trust me, not because of I'm afraid that you don't trust me.
My subconscious is doing the self-reassuring mechanism to me, I DON'T TRUST YOU.
The mock meeting went perfectly smooth and complimented by lecturer, thanks Darwin. Wouldn't even happen without I DOING THE SCRIPTS THE GRAPH THE DATAS. It's ok, I'm glad it went well. For next week presentation i m still look forward to that.
I'm not angry because of doing all these stuffs myself. As i said, I rather die in my own hand. Yet I'm angry because there is ppl who doubt and question me about the things I've done.
I'm an autocratic leader, a lone traveler, and I admit it. Once the project finish, I won't bother to see you anymore. There is no way i would build an attachment with people who lack of wits. Yeah, I'm fucking arrogant, fucking lansi. Up to you.
Trust me you moron.
Sunday, 20 September 2015
To person who don't know me deeply.
I have too many names, carrying different identities, and different personalities. Just in case you don't know.
My default identity
A cool, numb, emotionless guy. You normally seen this guy taking over my body when i am standing still and not talking anything.
sign and symptoms: dat face tho, look at me and you will die, mouth closed tight, head looking upward, only answering "mm," and not even want to talk.
interpretation: I am not cocky or lansi, i am not angry or depressed as well. THAT'S MY DEFAULT FACE, I CAN'T HELP MYSELF.
The actor Ming
Talks a lot, like knowing everything
sign and symptoms: Likes to join and interrupt others conversation, looking around seek for attention, Oscar acting skills esp. acting gay, gangster, taiko, expert.
Interpretation: Got pretty girl(s) nearby, I'M GONNA IMPRESS HER(THEM)
Captain Edward
Elite, smart, badass, chicks magnet
Sign and symptoms: Smartass in everything (academic, chairmanship, talking in front of people with confidence, leadership +999999), basically autocratic, yet humble and talks wise words, get panicked when things don't happen according to plan.
Interpretation: I can't lose, just trying to leave my footprint on anywhere i went, weak leader makes me can't tahan so i lead myself, type A personality takes over my consciousness.
Shy ming
sign and symptoms: shy and quiet, agreeableness to others +99999 (just nodding), usually turns dumb and careless when I'm in this mode, usually comes out when being with mom, family members, relatives, elders.
interpretation: Lazy to talk, spending time having meeting with other personalities in my brain "do not disturb", energy-saving mode, NOT REAL DUMB OR SHY, JUST DON'T GIVE A DAMN SHIT.
Sentimental CM
sensitive and artistic alter of me (90% of the drawings and blogpost done by that guy, not this one)
sign and symptoms: patient, thoughtful, persistent, wise, dislike disturbance, emotional, cry a lot, minimalistic, Darwinistic, interested in any other form of arts eg. dancing, music, singing, acting, mild suicidal.
interpretation: my second personality that i developed since standard 2, so it is more stable and obedience than others, symbolize my inner talent and ability to express my thoughts, comes out usually when alone.
Nerd Ed
sign and symptoms: Knows deeply in history and science, talk to self so frequently, usually pop out when try to prove something to someone who is dumb enough to understand a standard six science theory, Games and games.
interpretation: this alter appear since i started to teach. I used to rehearse every time at home or during shower before i head to class by talking to myself for 1 hour. Sometimes people think I'm just showing off, but nope I'm just trying to KNOCK SOME BASIC SENSE INTO YOUR DUMB BRAIN.
Stalker Ed
sign and symptoms: professional in stalking and following, able to figure out a person's insta, fb, gmail just looking at attendance list, stealthy.
interpretation: looking for food, it' a food for eye, just developed this guy two years ago, lately became more active and more self-conscious.
Demon
sign and symptoms: appear not longer than 5 minutes, foul tempered, talk loud, and usually end up fighting over unnecessary issue.
interpretation: a branch ego by actor Ming, just acting big and talking big like a gangster. Usually come out under three circumstances: facing incompetent teammates, sick or being provoked.
Stone Chun Ming
sign and symptoms: stoned, keep staring at a person, shy, feel like the luckiest man in the world.
interpretation: when being together with her, develop and came out 5 years ago.
Moderator
sign and symptoms: aware of every other alters, also the one who writing this, a typical Cancer male, introvert and also a family guy.
interpretation: Pop out randomly, sometimes once per day sometimes once per week. Most people think moderator as the default id, but nope.
Alters keep on increasing, good thing or bad things. Anyway, I will keep these shits in balance. Try not to cause any breakdown.
Sincerely,
Moderator.
I have too many names, carrying different identities, and different personalities. Just in case you don't know.
My default identity
A cool, numb, emotionless guy. You normally seen this guy taking over my body when i am standing still and not talking anything.
sign and symptoms: dat face tho, look at me and you will die, mouth closed tight, head looking upward, only answering "mm," and not even want to talk.
interpretation: I am not cocky or lansi, i am not angry or depressed as well. THAT'S MY DEFAULT FACE, I CAN'T HELP MYSELF.
The actor Ming
Talks a lot, like knowing everything
sign and symptoms: Likes to join and interrupt others conversation, looking around seek for attention, Oscar acting skills esp. acting gay, gangster, taiko, expert.
Interpretation: Got pretty girl(s) nearby, I'M GONNA IMPRESS HER(THEM)
Captain Edward
Elite, smart, badass, chicks magnet
Sign and symptoms: Smartass in everything (academic, chairmanship, talking in front of people with confidence, leadership +999999), basically autocratic, yet humble and talks wise words, get panicked when things don't happen according to plan.
Interpretation: I can't lose, just trying to leave my footprint on anywhere i went, weak leader makes me can't tahan so i lead myself, type A personality takes over my consciousness.
Shy ming
sign and symptoms: shy and quiet, agreeableness to others +99999 (just nodding), usually turns dumb and careless when I'm in this mode, usually comes out when being with mom, family members, relatives, elders.
interpretation: Lazy to talk, spending time having meeting with other personalities in my brain "do not disturb", energy-saving mode, NOT REAL DUMB OR SHY, JUST DON'T GIVE A DAMN SHIT.
Sentimental CM
sensitive and artistic alter of me (90% of the drawings and blogpost done by that guy, not this one)
sign and symptoms: patient, thoughtful, persistent, wise, dislike disturbance, emotional, cry a lot, minimalistic, Darwinistic, interested in any other form of arts eg. dancing, music, singing, acting, mild suicidal.
interpretation: my second personality that i developed since standard 2, so it is more stable and obedience than others, symbolize my inner talent and ability to express my thoughts, comes out usually when alone.
Nerd Ed
sign and symptoms: Knows deeply in history and science, talk to self so frequently, usually pop out when try to prove something to someone who is dumb enough to understand a standard six science theory, Games and games.
interpretation: this alter appear since i started to teach. I used to rehearse every time at home or during shower before i head to class by talking to myself for 1 hour. Sometimes people think I'm just showing off, but nope I'm just trying to KNOCK SOME BASIC SENSE INTO YOUR DUMB BRAIN.
Stalker Ed
sign and symptoms: professional in stalking and following, able to figure out a person's insta, fb, gmail just looking at attendance list, stealthy.
interpretation: looking for food, it' a food for eye, just developed this guy two years ago, lately became more active and more self-conscious.
Demon
sign and symptoms: appear not longer than 5 minutes, foul tempered, talk loud, and usually end up fighting over unnecessary issue.
interpretation: a branch ego by actor Ming, just acting big and talking big like a gangster. Usually come out under three circumstances: facing incompetent teammates, sick or being provoked.
Stone Chun Ming
sign and symptoms: stoned, keep staring at a person, shy, feel like the luckiest man in the world.
interpretation: when being together with her, develop and came out 5 years ago.
Moderator
sign and symptoms: aware of every other alters, also the one who writing this, a typical Cancer male, introvert and also a family guy.
interpretation: Pop out randomly, sometimes once per day sometimes once per week. Most people think moderator as the default id, but nope.
Alters keep on increasing, good thing or bad things. Anyway, I will keep these shits in balance. Try not to cause any breakdown.
Sincerely,
Moderator.
Thursday, 17 September 2015
我向往的世界，何时才能去到？
未来，就像现在的天气情况，一片模糊。
拜托，别看我
只不过是个迷失在幻想世界的男子
也拜托，看看我
我尝试伸手出去，等待一个会牵我手的她
紧握住我的手，
不知道我们明早会在哪里醒来。
一夜情，是最好的示爱方式吗？
要是丘比特拿走了妳身上的箭，我该怎么办？
唯有妳我，一同被眼泪灌醉。
我们是谁？
在银河中的一坨尘埃。
我的存在本来就是个错误，
错在不小心与把幻想与现实搞乱。
希望你别把我们过去的点滴与回忆，
当作伤心的根源。
忘了告诉你，
我昨天看见一只狮子吻了一只鹿
象征再过不久我们会开启另外一种结局
在眼泪中，妳我一同共舞。
上帝啊，告诉我为何青春总是被浪费掉？
这是个狩猎的季节，
只看见羊群在逃，寻找生存意义。
难道我们，是个迷茫的星星？
盲目地无力地尝试，照明身边一切的黑暗。
我以为我看见妳在外头哭泣
我以为我听见妳呼喊我的名字
我以为我听见妳又在外头哭泣
一样的
Monday, 14 September 2015
第五周了，
完全适应了呵呵。
上星期三考了个EPT，用电脑考的英文，
他妈给我个烂电脑，lag lag 的，听下听下停住，听下听下又没有声音。
在lab里考着考着快发疯了。
明早考TITAS midterm，没读哈哈。
上星期三有Club day，各个学会摆了摊招生，人山人海。我？当然进了psychology club啦，支持自己人嘛。
然后看到有美女比较多的IMPAC，就加入了。全名我忘了，是关于performing arts 的，跳舞啊，唱歌啊，演戏啊，等等。
有设计的，但是他们的人好像没有料，呵呵他们设计的招生海报。。。paint吧？没信心。
Martial arts club, Computer club, Media society, Volunteer club..... 一些比较吸引我的学会大概只有这些吧。但我还只加入了两个，看下学期忙不忙，再加。
忙吗？呃 还有上网的时间吧。呵呵
Group assignment 我们组目前是排第一的哈哈，完成了60%，questionaires, collect data, tabulation, report, mock meeting ....别组还停留在collect data。 当然啦，谁是组长？(嗨)
虽然时间刚好，但是还是保持一天一幅画，质量也差了一点。哭
动力？知道你过得好好，我就完全充电了。
完全适应了呵呵。
上星期三考了个EPT，用电脑考的英文，
他妈给我个烂电脑，lag lag 的，听下听下停住，听下听下又没有声音。
在lab里考着考着快发疯了。
明早考TITAS midterm，没读哈哈。
上星期三有Club day，各个学会摆了摊招生，人山人海。我？当然进了psychology club啦，支持自己人嘛。
然后看到有美女比较多的IMPAC，就加入了。全名我忘了，是关于performing arts 的，跳舞啊，唱歌啊，演戏啊，等等。
有设计的，但是他们的人好像没有料，呵呵他们设计的招生海报。。。paint吧？没信心。
Martial arts club, Computer club, Media society, Volunteer club..... 一些比较吸引我的学会大概只有这些吧。但我还只加入了两个，看下学期忙不忙，再加。
忙吗？呃 还有上网的时间吧。呵呵
Group assignment 我们组目前是排第一的哈哈，完成了60%，questionaires, collect data, tabulation, report, mock meeting ....别组还停留在collect data。 当然啦，谁是组长？(嗨)
虽然时间刚好，但是还是保持一天一幅画，质量也差了一点。哭
动力？知道你过得好好，我就完全充电了。
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